Three Tips To Smooth Forgiveness June 21, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — @ 9:50 am

Are you seeing all the parts of your life clearly? Heck, no; we all see things differently! We all have different parts of our lives that we find confusing, but we all … pretty much universally … have things that we struggle with that don’t make sense … the pieces don’t fit and things don’t ring true.

OK, quick sales pitch ’cause I’m still in part an old media guy: one thing that a conversation with a talented Soul Buffet psychic can do is help put some things in perspective for you. Now, back to just observing: if you feel you could use some perspective, that means you have things going on that you can’t fit into your view of a satisfactory life.

One thing I see A LOT of people coming to wrestling with is forgiveness. You were wronged in some way. There’s that anger, fury, frustration, energy blockage … however you happen to experience it.

Maybe you still hope for some sort of satisfaction. Maybe you are aware of the negative energy in your life, but you are just not ready to forgive. Maybe you know you have to give it up, but no matter what you do, the bad feelings still hang on.

So what’s a human being to do? Usually, when we ARE ready to forgive, we jump in and say, basically, “I forgive my offender for doing this awful thing to me.” Then, we stand back and grit our teeth, hoping something changes. Often, it doesn’t.

Fighting ourselves about an act of forgiveness often causes more internal uproar than it does movement in a positive direction. In other words, you might well decide to consciously forgive someone. Then, you might spend more time STILL having hateful, angry thoughts about them and then criticizing yourself for doing so. That just creates more conflict instead of clearing it up. And the conflict is all inside you, affecting you and no one else. Yuck!

There are things we can do to get a handle on forgiveness without jumping in with both feet and then arguing with ourselves. Here are three ideas.

1. Forgiveness is an act. It’s a process. Like anything else we do, we shouldn’t assume that WANTING to forgive means we know HOW to forgive. Here’s something you can read that might help you through the steps of forgiving.

2. You might want to start with something smaller. Rather than think about the worst thing that ever happened to you in your life, start with a smaller offense that still nags at you occasionally. Tell yourself you are willing to put THAT behind you for the sake of a better life. Then, tell yourself you forgive that person for whatever they did. When you think about it, and you think about your life now and the power you have to forgive, you probably instantly feel a sense of comfort or power or fair resolution … or even all three! This is the “weight training” method of forgiveness, where you start small and build as you strengthen your “forgiveness muscles.”

3. Or … as much as you may not want to at first … you can gain perspective when you focus on your part in things. This will help you come at it from a different viewpoint. The Hawaiian practice of ho’oponopono can be very helpful here. This is where you get a sense of authority from your connection to your higher power, and you take responsibility for your part in things, and ask the universe for forgiveness and love. Being aware of your connection to a loving universe and your own human-ness can help put the awful things others did to you into perspective so you can get a handle on them!


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