Three Tips To Smooth Forgiveness June 21, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — @ 9:50 am

Are you seeing all the parts of your life clearly? Heck, no; we all see things differently! We all have different parts of our lives that we find confusing, but we all … pretty much universally … have things that we struggle with that don’t make sense … the pieces don’t fit and things don’t ring true.

OK, quick sales pitch ’cause I’m still in part an old media guy: one thing that a conversation with a talented Soul Buffet psychic can do is help put some things in perspective for you. Now, back to just observing: if you feel you could use some perspective, that means you have things going on that you can’t fit into your view of a satisfactory life.

One thing I see A LOT of people coming to wrestling with is forgiveness. You were wronged in some way. There’s that anger, fury, frustration, energy blockage … however you happen to experience it.

Maybe you still hope for some sort of satisfaction. Maybe you are aware of the negative energy in your life, but you are just not ready to forgive. Maybe you know you have to give it up, but no matter what you do, the bad feelings still hang on.

So what’s a human being to do? Usually, when we ARE ready to forgive, we jump in and say, basically, “I forgive my offender for doing this awful thing to me.” Then, we stand back and grit our teeth, hoping something changes. Often, it doesn’t.

Fighting ourselves about an act of forgiveness often causes more internal uproar than it does movement in a positive direction. In other words, you might well decide to consciously forgive someone. Then, you might spend more time STILL having hateful, angry thoughts about them and then criticizing yourself for doing so. That just creates more conflict instead of clearing it up. And the conflict is all inside you, affecting you and no one else. Yuck!

There are things we can do to get a handle on forgiveness without jumping in with both feet and then arguing with ourselves. Here are three ideas.

1. Forgiveness is an act. It’s a process. Like anything else we do, we shouldn’t assume that WANTING to forgive means we know HOW to forgive. Here’s something you can read that might help you through the steps of forgiving.

2. You might want to start with something smaller. Rather than think about the worst thing that ever happened to you in your life, start with a smaller offense that still nags at you occasionally. Tell yourself you are willing to put THAT behind you for the sake of a better life. Then, tell yourself you forgive that person for whatever they did. When you think about it, and you think about your life now and the power you have to forgive, you probably instantly feel a sense of comfort or power or fair resolution … or even all three! This is the “weight training” method of forgiveness, where you start small and build as you strengthen your “forgiveness muscles.”

3. Or … as much as you may not want to at first … you can gain perspective when you focus on your part in things. This will help you come at it from a different viewpoint. The Hawaiian practice of ho’oponopono can be very helpful here. This is where you get a sense of authority from your connection to your higher power, and you take responsibility for your part in things, and ask the universe for forgiveness and love. Being aware of your connection to a loving universe and your own human-ness can help put the awful things others did to you into perspective so you can get a handle on them!


Your Brain As A Weapon of Sabotage June 10, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — @ 2:56 pm

Many of us … maybe all of us … use our thoughts as a weapon on ourselves.

Think about it.  How often are you sitting there, minding your own business, when your brain comes up with a thought or a scenario that angers you, frustrates you, scares you or worries you?

All too often, we just go along with it.  If you were there having a perfectly wonderful time, and another person came over and angered you or frustrated you, you’d ask them to leave!  But when your brain dredges up memories of things that happened … or fantasies of things that could happen … we just willingly go along with it, and turn a good time into a bad time.

Does what your brain leads you astray with look anything like this list?  All of us could probably cop to at least a couple of these twisted methods of thinking.

So, being able to CHANGE your thinking when your brain start going down one of those twisted roads is a very valuable skill.  Some people who are good at this like to challenge the assumptions their brains are making.  Some others just find it valuable to say “Thanks for your feedback” to their brains, and then move on to a better-feeling train of thought.

Many addictions, I believe, come from this desire to just shut the brain up.  Drink, drugs, food, shopping, sex, and so forth … all these addictive behaviors are attempts to make ourselves feel good when we feel bad.

Personally, I like to do the “Thanks for your feedback” thing, and then consciously think about something that makes me feel really good.  The hardest part is catching yourself when you’re in the middle of listening to your brain.  It’s a skill you have to learn by working on it.

So, is this just about selfishly feeling good?  OR … does it matter to other people when we change our feelings from bad to good?

I’ve been watching this in myself.  When I’m working on something and feeling good, I’m really efficient and creative and focused and easy to be around.  That makes me highly productive.  But if my mood changes, and my brain takes me on one of those icky trips to Memoryland or Fantasyland, my productivity drops.

I haven’t done a controlled experiment about it.  However, I’ve noticed this a lot.  It’s almost like when I feel too good for too long, my brain has to step in and mess it up.  So, at those moments when I start to feel less than great, my mood and my focus drop, and I’m less productive.

If I’m working on something to help someone else, I’m endangering the help I’m offering … by feeling bad. So it’s incumbent on me, if I want to help others with what I do, to get myself feeling good again!

Think about that.  How often have you felt like you need to feel bad, or think pessimistic thoughts, to push yourself to do your best work?

What sort of motivation is THAT?  Especially if you’re putting yourself in a personal space where you can’t do your best?  If you’ve got a lot to do, get in a space where you’re feeling GOOD.  Or, at least, better than you were!  Then, get to work and notice how you get more stuff done … which should make you feel good all over again.


Affirmations That Work June 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — @ 10:13 am

If you’ve been around new age-y sort of thought for any length of time, you run into affirmations.

You know, things like, “Money surrounds me” and “I am fulfilling my life’s dream” and so forth.

These are the sort of things you say to yourself to help you visualize your future.  The thinking goes that if you see your dream and step into it and can imagine yourself living it now, it helps create energy to make it come true.

I don’t know about you, but part of me … when I say these things to myself … feels that I’m telling a lie.  However, I’ve been come across a woman who has figured this out, and how to do affirmations that really work.

Maria Nemeth is an author and life coach who has written a couple of great books like The Energy of Money and Mastering Life’s Energies.  From her, I’ve learned the idea of Trouble At The Border.

It’s VERY easy to energize yourself in the metaphysical world … you know, in your mind, in your fantasies, in your visions about your future life.  And, once you’ve done something long enough in REAL life, you’ve got it mastered, and can execute it relatively easily and well.  The trouble comes when you try and bring something from the metaphysical world into the physical world.  There, at the border between the two, is where we run into the most trouble!  That’s where the unexpected happens; that’s where the mistakes happen; that’s where the lapses in judgment happen.  Just like they’re supposed to!

We’re humans.  We’re supposed to run into problems.

That’s how we LEARN!

So, here’s where this comes back to affirmations.  Maria Nemeth’s point is that the most important power we have is to be WILLING.  Are you willing to bring your dreams into existence?  Note that I didn’t ask you know how … or why or when or where … the question is, are you willing?

In your affirmations, express the negativity and doubt, and then express your willingness.  “Even though I feel scared and doubtful about how it will work, I am WILLING to be financially successful.”  “Although part of me wants to look elsewhere, I am WILLING to be committed to my marriage.”  “Even though my kids drive me stark raving nuts at times, I am WILLING to be the best parent I can be.”

This acknowledges what you’re fighting against, and doesn’t try and create a future you’re not ready to totally visualize, but it expresses your greatest power:  your willingness to put something into action.

And go check out Maria Nemeth’s stuff. I hope she clarifies this for you as much as she did for me.


Your Accurate Intuition Is At Your Fingertips May 26, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — @ 5:56 pm

It’s scary how accurate this is … and you can try it for yourself right away. This is an intuition test called “muscle testing” or “finger dowsing.”

See, the thinking is that you have far more knowledge inside you than you know you have available to you. You can ask any question after you clear your mind and hold your hands like you see in the drawing here.

Make a ring with the thumb and index finger of each hand. Interconnect them, so that your right hand index finger and thumb are touching inside the ring made by the left hand, and vice versa.  Press your thumbs and index fingers together so that you can’t easily separate your fingers.

Now, think of a very specific question you want to know the answer to. You might want to start with something non-emotional, like “Do we need a trip to the grocery store tonight.” Note that the question was not “Do I need to go shopping;” you might get indefinite info because you weren’t specific enough about where you would go shopping, or when.

Take a couple of deep breaths, and make sure you’re as centered and on as even an emotional keel as possible. Loop your fingers together like in the diagram. Apply some pressure between the thumb and index finger of each hand, and hold the intention in your mind to keep the rings from breaking apart when you pull.

Then, phrase your question in your mind, and see if you can pull your fingers apart. If your two finger loops stay interconnected even if you pull with some force, your answer is “Yes.” If your fingers start to slip apart or if one or both rings break apart, your answer is “No.”

You’ll be surprised how accurate this is, and how much information you’ll have … uh … at your fingertips.  Keep practicing this; the more questions you test this way, the more you’ll be able to tell the difference between the subtle intuitive signals you’ll get.

You can start prioritizing your “to-do” list with this technique! For instance, when I get organized first thing for the new day, I look at the items on my list, one by one, and ask, “is this something I need to make a priority today?”  Then, I muscle test it. I get solid info about what my clear priorities are. Once I’m done with the list, I ask, “Do I have any priorities that aren’t on today’s to-do list?” If the answer is yes, I can then go through different areas of my life … work, family, chores, etc … and generally, something jumps into my mind that I meant to do that I momentarily spaced on.

Try this for a few days … make it part of how you plan what you’ll do next as you go through your day … and let me know how it works!


HOPE & HEALING May 20, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — @ 7:35 am

Working with psychics and mediums and their clients all day, I tend to group the world into two groups of people.  There are those who automatically think of getting a reading, and those who don’t.  The latter group is much larger than the former, of course.

But just why do people go for their first reading?  You almost always gotta be at some sort of crossroads to start looking for a psychic the first time around.  It’s almost guaranteed that you’re facing something new, something scary, that makes you look for different feedback and solutions.

So, really, when many people are looking for a psychic, they’re looking for Hope.  And Healing.

I understand that, and Soul Buffet is here to commit to your new sense of hope, and your full spiritual healing.  Not only will we have good folks for you to book a session with … we’ll keep you hooked up to reasons for hope and ways to heal.

You’ll see this start to develop over the coming weeks.  To start off with:

here’s your hopeful “Real Secret to Success,” and

here’s your healing vision for today, about Archangel Michael.



Filed under: Uncategorized — @ 9:29 am

I got inspired by Seth Godin‘s latest blog post, and jumped off his thoughts about manipulating people and being manipulated … and started thinking about how much time we all spend covering up our true selves … hiding them even from ourselves.

Occasionally, we run across questions, “what would you do today if you knew it were your last” … or “what would you do if you knew exactly what your purpose on earth was.”

A lot of people just sort of stare off into space when posed with questions like this.

Basically, I do, too.

But what would our answers be if the questions were posed like …

  • Who would you BE today if you knew it were your last?
  • Who would you BE if you knew exactly what your purpose on earth was?

My guess is that the answers would still involve some searching, but might be far more interesting.



Filed under: Uncategorized — @ 10:58 am

I’m a big fan of both EFT and ho’oponopono.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), or “that tapping stuff” (as I’ve been known to call it), was a big part of therapy that freed me from the torture of PTSD.

And ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian spiritual technique for taking responsibility for our own lives and cleaning them up.  It’s both incredibly simple, and multi-layered when you get deeper into it.

So I’ve been spending some time at lately.  Even though the site is a bit cluttered and disorganized, it’s worth spending some time with to see all the stuff they have there.  They have some hypnosis videos and some other techniques and routines that have made a positive difference in how I feel lately.  And that’s saying a lot; I’ve seen a lot of therapeutic and motivational videos that have been enjoyable, but haven’t really been all that change-worthy.

At, they recommend starting with this breathing video:

But I’m probably most impressed with these self-healing resources, which include these videos:

This combination of ho’oponopono and EFT techniques —

This hypnosis video to build self-confidence —

And this video to “reboot your brain,” which always leaves me feeling more clear and focused, no matter what sort of day I’m having —